March 25, 2026
Adam Mumfort Cavan Day. Today (Wednesday March 25) would have been his 51st birthday.
He used to joke, “Wherever we go, there we are.” For a long time, I kept a drawing that he had given me that “illustrated” this.
In one of our last conversations (Facebook messenger, 2008), he asked me to find it. I never actually came across it again, but I can see it clearly in my memories – it had stick versions of us (he was a writer, not an artist lol) with a line drawn between us, and the words, “we are so fucked.”
It was deliriously funny to us at the time, but ironically it almost makes sense now.
The first time I met Adam, he came flying into a dark room in the 4D wing at Victoria Hall, Queen’s University. There were a few of us there that night – I was not yet 19 years old like many of my classmates who had done “grade thirteen” (otherwise known as OAC in Ontario). Those of us who were still 18 years old had less options to go to the bars; we were watching a movie, and I was preoccupied with falling in love (for the first time) with one of the residents of that room. In barrelled Adam with a story, a bunch of laughs, and then off he went to find his next adventure.
For the next three years, we had many friends in common; it wasn’t until 3rd year (when my heart was shattered by my first love) that we got closer.
The day I found out that Adam had passed (July 2017), I was scrolling social media and started to see all kinds of photos of him at different stages of his life. I knew instantly; it was like being punched in the stomach.
That same night, I attended a boat cruise for a friend’s birthday. When we boarded, one of the ridiculous songs we used to laugh about was playing. Under the light of a full moon, a girlfriend and I poured drinks over the side of the boat for Adam and her dad in Spirit.
I wrote to his mom, “It’s hard to articulate what Adam’s friendship meant to me over the years. I think of him every March 25!”
She had told me, “My sister (in Northern Ireland) …reminded me that our old Irish granny often said, when the name of a loved one, who died, is said out loud, all the angels in Heaven sing!! I visualized Adam’s response at being surrounded by a heavenly chorus, and I had to laugh. It still makes me laugh when I catch myself repeating his name.”
When I first talked to Lisa @northvanmediumlisa about her mediumship, I told her I had a friend (Adam) in Sprit. She was like, “he wants me to know that you used to dance on tables”. She laughed and asked me, “Why is he wearing a giant backpack?” She thought it was so funny that he looked like he was about to go on a big adventure.
She also confirmed that he had been RIGHT THERE for the toast we had done in his honour/that he was grateful for this remembrance.
Knowing this gave me a feeling of peace and reassurance I had never experienced before.
A few weeks later, Lisa and I met for an energy healing session. I wasn’t totally sure what to expect, but the results were very physical. I could also visualize “files” flying away from different parts of my energy centres/chakras.
I didn’t have the words to explain this experience until my husband and I watched the Netflix documentary, “In Waves and War”.
It articulated exactly what I experienced. Same language and result, different strategy. Highly recommend watching it if you haven’t seen it, yet!
No disrespect to the 1994 University Registrar, but at that time choosing a “major” involved a phone call with an advisor who said, “let’s make it English for now because that’s your best grade; you can always change it later.”
Three years of “English” later, I realized that perhaps I had not made the best decision. I moved into a three-year “Modern Literature” path instead, learning Contemporary Literature: shorter classes, night class options, and the realization that I did my best studying in an environment with a lot of white noise and “distraction”.
That Christmas (1996) – home for the holidays – Adam and I kept in touch and when he said, “I miss you, Teetzel!” I agreed to fly back to Ontario early – detouring for a few days in Port Hope.
By Reading Week, I agreed with the brilliant idea to purchase a beautiful orange Kona mountain bike (please note there were literal FEET of snow on the ground, not the most ideal time.) The plan was to drive from Port Hope, Ontario to Daytona Beach, Florida on a “bike trip”. (While the best of intentions, we never even put the bikes together.)
Long before streaming platforms – or even CDs – our musical options were limited. I think we took some of one of my roommate’s mixed tapes, but mostly we listened to the radio. To this day, every time I hear these songs I think of Adam:
“One Headlight” Wallflowers
“Mr. Jones” Counting Crows
“How Bizarre” OMC
When he first told me the origin of his middle names, Adam was very proud to share that “Cavan” belonged to his mom, Margaret (her maiden name) – but that it was also the name of the protagonist (Cavin) in Disney’s 1985-1991 television series Adventures of the Gummi Bears. I don’t know if I ever actually believed him. I have since fact checked this, and it is very true.
Adam was the kind of guy who – as I got to know better – made me want to be seen as “intelligent”. I think he brought out this side for a lot of people. I admired him for his lack of judgement, and his genuine curiously about life experiences. One of the things he teased, “Do you like to party?” (Yes, I sure did!)
Adam was an award-winning Canadian War Correspondent.
From David Pugliese, CBC radio, July 12, 2017:
“With at least seven trips to Afghanistan under his belt, Day focused on what <was> called “ground-level” journalism – that is, chronicling what life is actually like for Canadian soldiers on the battlefield.”
“Adam became with I would consider the voice of many soldiers in Afghanistan. Even though a lot of Canadians might not recognize his name, I think a lot of soldiers read what he was writing and appreciated his efforts.”
“He tracked down a lot of soldiers who took part…and they were still his friends to this day. They had a lot of respect to him for kind of putting that story out there in the public domain… He continued reporting, from other war zones as well. He kept going back. He had a real sense of curiosity, a sense of wanting to report on that war. I would have probably called it quits.”
“And this was before PTSD issues were really out there and the issues about [the Department of National Defence] and the Canadian Forces not taking care of some of the soldiers. And he wrote that the system failed this solder and he didn’t have to die. This was groundbreaking journalism.”
In total, Adam took seven trips to Afghanistan.
In 2013, he wrote, The Operative’s Last Battle: Higher Still Climbs the Number of Canada’s War Dead: https://legionmagazine.com/the-operatives-last-battle-higher-still-climbs-the-number-of-canadas-war-dead
Adam was the first friend I ever lost. To be so emotionally consumed by the loss of someone I hadn’t been in touch with face to face for so long was a debilitating feeling. Year over year, I think to myself “I have the most hilarious story that only Adam would think is funny or understand…I miss that guy!”
At the time of his passing in 2017, I donated to the organization that pairs service dogs with veterans in Adam’s memory. I think he would have freaking loved to know that less than 10 years later, there are so.many.options available for REAL healing.
Happy birthday, Adam! Cue the angels! 😇 👼
